Where's that blasted telegram?
Maid Marion: Ooh! There's someone crawling under the table. What are you doing under there sir? Winston Churchill: I'm looking for a...
Chronicling a 21st century idiot's obsession with a 1950s radio comedy masterpiece.
Welcome, dear reader - pull up a bollard.
On 28 May 1951, four young men took to the airwaves on the BBC's Home Service to launch their unique brand of comedy on an unsuspecting world.
In the mid-1990s, an even younger idiot was introduced to recordings of their broadcasts - and there began a strange obsession crossing decades and generations.
The Seagoon Memoirs is an attempt to channel this obsession into something creative, chronicle the show's history, development and legacy, and in some small way contribute to preserving this masterpiece of British radio comedy.
Listen to me waffle on about the Goons on the excellent Goon Pod here. Alternatively, listen to more interesting people on other episodes of Goon Pod, including Jane Milligan, Al Murray, Dirk Maggs, and the cast of 'Spike!', the new Milligan/Goon-themed play by Ian Hislop and Nick Newman.